Every introvert should take the time to read this book, and it would probably be a good idea for extroverts, too! In our society, extroversion is often viewed as preferable, better, something we should all strive for. Dembling does a fantastic job of analyzing introversion and pointing out the positive traits and strengths of the introvert. One of the first points clarified in this book is the most important: introversion does not equal shyness. Many introverts, in fact, are NOT shy. Shyness has to do with fear of social interaction, nervousness at meeting new people, being unable to speak up in a crowd, or breaking out in a cold sweat at the idea of giving a speech. You understand what I mean, especially if you are shy. Introversion, on the other hand, is a preference. The introvert isn't AFRAID to go to a party or have lots of friends, they just prefer not to. I understand this because I am an introvert. I am NOT shy, however.
My daughter, who is working on her doctorate in clinical psychology, complained to me one day that she is tired of being targeted by some of her professors for a perceived lack of participation in class, the assumption being that if she can't jump into a discussion with lightening quick responses she must not be thinking or paying attention, yet her written work has been described as demonstrating great insight and understanding. She is an introvert, and as such needs time to think and process ideas before responding. It's not a flaw, it is simply a different type of brain function. Unfortunately, our society usually values quick response and instant gratification, and the popular, outgoing individual is usually seen as the most desireable and successful whether or not they have any depth or worthwhile ideas! I am NOT discounting extroversion, just saying that sometimes patience and taking the time to think should be seen as valuable assets, too.
I got a lot of insight into myself and others from Dembling's analysis and I think you will, too. Introverts, unite!
As an introvert I can tell you that it is tiresome having people look at you like you're suffering from some sad malady because you choose to stay home, or not stay long as social gatherings, etc.
ReplyDeleteSocializing drains us, but it does so quicker with certain people and/or certain situations, one of those being extroverts who try to convince us we'd "feel better" if we got out more or stayed longer.
Go away...... we're fine.